Billingham RUFC 1st XV 18/09/2021 Home vs. Burnage R F C

Hit me with your rhythm stick – Ian Drury and the Blockheads (1978)

This may come as a shock to those who know me but don’t get to see my sledge pushing skills on a Thursday night that I have no sense of rhythm. During my school days whist other friends would pogo in time to the popular tunes of the day or trip the light fantastic across the main hall I would shuffle and trip. Similar to a disembarking supporter from Luxury travel carriage when a few too many shandies have been consumed. It didn’t get much better in later life as I always got my little fish, big fish, and cardboard box in the wrong order. Given the last couple of years of ever changing rules my natural rhythm is all over the place with a routine just starting to be established. Monday is the start of the working week (walk into spare room, gaze at laptop), Tuesday is “middle aged touch” rugby day which I have yet to attend (I have been reassured, skills optional), Wednesday is halfway through the week, Thursday is gym and pop day, Friday is the day before match day, Saturday is match day (attendance still irregular) with being Sunday is try and read what you wrote day. For many over the past couple of weeks this day has been known as where did I leave my legs or how did I get home Sunday.

For the players the games are coming thick and fast which in league so competitive means that injury and rotation becomes a requirement to maintain a focused and sharp squad.
Although pandemic, pingdemic, economic and ecodemic pressures are around us it does feel that some sort of regularity is starting to emerge. I expected not to be in attendance this week but a window of opportunity meant that I could attend so I rushed down just before the 2:15 kick off. Bombing up to Brown’s mount to get a seat I noticed that a lack of urgency on the behalf of other supporters and the players as they warmed up. A delayed kick off meant that I had ample time to compose myself, organize pens and note pad plus read the Presidents words of wisdom basking on a sunny hill. A light breeze was enough to keep the biting flying things at bay but the option of a light jacket was unnecessary, Michael Fish would have called it t-shirt weather no chance of any storms.
I would suggest to the budding player, coach or manager at any level of the sport that watching the warm up is interesting to see the styles on offer. Burnage were concentrating on movement and reaction, shifting left and right dependant on ball position. Billingham on the bags doing defence and breakout drills. In between the referee shuttles along the halfway line and stretches alone, contemplating what time we kick off, at this point he’s not alone.

As Brown’s mount fills up with a vocal and good natured crowd packed with regular contributors to this narrative the teams jog out, Burnage in black with gold trim, Billingham in the green and white and the man in the middle in vibrant pink, white arms and black shorts. I applaud the officiating team on their wardrobe but dam it, one colour off the Neapolitan.

Nice day, good crowd and we are off. Usually at this point I reach for the stock phrases as teams look to set up and work their way into the game but hold onto your glasses (those on your face or in your hand) readers Billingham are off to a blinder, playing towards the club house they kick off and a good chase sees them pressure Burnage in far corner. Despite an early knock Billingham work the breakdown and it’s the first penalty, with a quick tap the ball is worked from one wing to another as Danny Dixon romps in through a gap. It’s out wide for the conversation but in the time it takes you to ask why the kick off was delayed? the home side are 5- 0. I’m glad I checked my pens worked earlier.

Burnage kick off towards the mount with the dependable hands of Dan Burns cleanly gathering under pressure. Billingham are looking to spread the ball wide at every opportunity which forces Burnage to spread across the pitch and scramble, prompting reaction tackles some of which are high. As play develops it looks like Billingham have a strong set up at the set piece with Burnage line out looking susceptible, it’s not the clean platform to set anything away. Burnage kick well for position and counter ruck to force Billingham into conceding penalties but from the kick to touch they struggle to then push home the advantage. Line out disruption leads to a scrum then its Billingham away as the ball is quickly shown the air and hands, with the Peter’s in the middle and the flyers out wide a sweeping move develops from wing to wing as Alfie Lawson tests one wing and then Martin Hopley the other only to sweep back to Alfie with Anth Jackson popping up to provide the support runner to go in. Peter nudges the conversion from in front of the posts, 12 - 0 and the home supporters lap up the running rugby in the sunshine.

Burnage launch a high one and the chase is good but Hopley gathers and Billingham look to control. A dubious Billingham kick over the top pinball’s off a Burnage player bounces several times but is gathered by a player in front. From the scrum Jacko picks and quick hands see’s Alfie off down the wing again but contained by the Burnage defence this time. Billingham don’t release so Burnage kick for touch, the line out is disrupted and its Billingham back on the front foot. Elliott Husband sees a gap, feeds to Hopley takes a couple on then back to Husband to beat the cover and go in at the corner, triple H interaction. It’s all well out wide for Peter and the conversion is short for 17 – 0.

As Billingham jog around Burnage opt for a quick one on the blind side, luckily Alfie is switched on and catches cleanly then moves into the centre towards support. Burnage compete well at the breakdown as Billingham infringe, after a brief break for treatment Burnage put in and the ball is out. Along the line with the Billingham defence up quickly forcing some sloppy passing and a knock on, the middle is very congested with Burnage not managing to make clean passes in that area and Billingham opting to miss it out with long passes or kick, preferring to force the issue out wide. The ball along the line is a pleasure to watch with Matt Kirby taking one off his laces but then popping the ball up off the floor onto the next runner. Just as the backs look to be having all the fun Peter pops one over the top and the forwards suffocate at the breakdown, Will Turnbull’s strong arms restricting the release. It’s the forwards round the corner putting some phases in, making the gain line with the club house supporters pointing out the infringements committed in defence, yes their voices do carry that far. Despite a temporary reprieves it’s Billingham who continue to test the Burnage line, successive attacks see several line outs and chances come and go. Billingham apply the phases with Jordan Foulds strongly running up the middle, stopped by a suspect tackle judging by the crowd noise and the ref straight arm, play continues but the wide pass is just out of reach. It’s back for the penalty, solid scrum, Jacko pick, Peter Evans long pass out with Alfie at pace going in. Although the conversation is short that’s rhythm for you - 22 – 0.

From the kick off Billingham knock on giving Burnage good field position and as Billingham look to break out Burnage counter ruck well to force an infringement. Its line out time and Burnage gather cleanly and set up the driving maul but Billingham have stepped back not contesting so the ref has no option but to whistle as the ball carrier is blocked. Scrum and Billingham breaks out but it’s a bit messy as Burnage disrupt and steal but the ref intervenes. Billingham scrum see’s the same combination as before, quick links in the middle as Alfie gets in to space and half evades a very high tackle to go in. It seems like most of the tries have been at the corner flag not giving many easy conversions, despite another wide the scoreboard ticks over to 27 – 0.

Just time for the kick off, long into the hands of Dan Burns who corrals cleanly as the half time whistle sounds, an entertaining first half ends and debate as to who’s round it is rages on the mount. Can I say thank you for all the correspondence around the clarification of the “official” hill name, suggestions still flood in but despite Hyndman’s topping, Dom’s retreat and Wagga’s lament it will remain Brown’s mount. It’s an information hub with half time scores being swapped and glasses replenished as the sun continues to warm up the lively throng including the odd holidaymaker.

Looking forward to the second half action, not half, Burnage kick off and Billingham look to play up the field away from the club house and towards the mount. There’s a clash of heads and Will T who’s been in the thick of it from the first whistle looks a bit crocked. Billingham settle into the same pattern moving the ball out and sniping at the fringes, nothing up the middle so far. Kick over the top puts Burnage back towards their own line and the Billingham tackling keeps them pinned in. It’s a penalty to Billingham and a quick tap set Billingham up, Burnage counter well but Peter pops a nudge through which bounces into a charging Hopley, already over the line he takes it near the posts before grounding. Peter shows the ball the posts but its wide for 32 – 0 early in the second half.
Burnage kick off but uncle Mo is clearly with Billingham as Hopley having a cracker sets off again, the support play at the break down and linking the runners is still in good form as Peter E feeds a full speed Dan Burns. It’s a bit frantic in defence and a few choice rushed tackles with Jacko bursting through on the end of a high one and a yellow for number 3. This leads to a Burnage re-organisation so they can contest the scrum, Billingham look to pile on the pressure right in front of a vocal mount looking for the push over, instead it’s whipped out to Alfie who wanders in setting up a good angle for Peter. 39 – 0.

In a pivotal passage of play, cake arrives to the mount and various people disappear behind apple wedges. Burnage get a little more of the game and put together several phases without making much ground. Billingham continue to move it around but passes go astray and the tempo reduces, only expected given the non-stop action so far. Burnage are countering up the middle which means defence work for team Peter rather than the distribution and pulling the strings of earlier. Budge mentions he has Peter Y in the try scoring sweep (see previous match report), I’ll apologise on his behalf. There’s a drive from Ed and a few pop passes with Billingham looking to hold. The forwards are bouncing each other around midfield, Burnage scrum not much going on, then the Burnage 10 whips up the middle with a supporting runner and they show a clean pair of heals to go in at the club house end, converted 39 – 7.

With the doughnut gone Billingham kick off and some are not happy with conceding the first try of the season (I think) as it’s a good chase and as Burnage try to break they are driven back with each tackle. Its everything thrown in as Alfie, Dan D and Dan B have runs to seal the win with the last try. Burnage counter moving up the pitch with a few infringements for good measure, the odd hand where it shouldn’t be judging on the scrum half footwork to release it and kick to touch to set up field position. In a familiar story from the line out Billingham get the ball and decide that it’s been a warm afternoon, so the ball makes its way out of play for the end of the match.

A good match in the sun with Billingham out of the blocks early, playing some great stuff and some really strong performances right across the squad. Burnage not helped by no clean set piece ball and some loose passing, never really saw the wingers on the front foot. All in all a very nice day weather wise, top entertainment on the mount, excellent refreshment opportunities and full throttle running rugby on the AGP. Support your local sports teams - (can’t guarantee the weather mind.)
No time this week for – Beaten by the steak pie, Brown’s mount bar please, what time is kick off?, you said you weren’t coming, great face for radio, shift right/shift left, so Budgie where do you go on holiday, Refs sponsored by Ben and Jerry’s? and Betty Crocker fake tan.
‘You play at the rhythm you train at.
If you train badly, you play badly.
If you work like a beast in training, you play the same way.’
Pep Guardiola

An innocent bystander.

#OSIOS